5 days post the ‘physically distancing’ UK Government edict I feel mentally drained. I’ve been working from home (wfh) since March 23rd when my teenage son was sent home from boarding school with corona-like symptoms. Funny how he hasn’t been too sick to play video games……and recovered (fortunately) remarkably quickly…!

Until ‘normal’ life was put on hold my working week comprised of long commutes to and from Oxford on GWR. Although exhausting, it certainly wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it has been this week. For a relatively tech-shy institution, we’ve adapted to remote working within a matter of days. Back to back face to face meetings have been replaced with back to back Zoom or Microsoft Team meetings from 8:00am through to 18:00pm – all of course with the video camera on….. I didn’t realise how saggy my jowls were – no chance of popping along for a zap of botox now.

The oneupmanship of the video backgrounds has already begun – the funny ones, the virtual vistas, the perfect book shelves…the strategically placed vases of flowers (where on earth are they buying them from?!). Small kids appear behind harrassed looking colleagues who know there is zero chance of persuading them to sit in front of an online schooling session when their back is turned. Cats saunter along keyboards and dogs bark in the background. Everyone is trying to maintain a veneer of professionalism whilst normal week day life is crumbling away around them.

My son is taking full advantage of my inability to find any break in the relentness video calls. I can hear completely age inappropriate video games being downloaded and played on another floor. He’s taken to wearing pyjamas all day long despite my stroppy whatsapp instructions (as that’s the only way I can communicate with him). His fantastic school were quick off the mark organising online learning and much to my horror he has just about dragged himself in front of the screen, wrapped in his duvet only after I’ve muted my laptop microphone and yelled at him. “You’re only having to attend until Friday” has been my broken record plea all week. Now he has broken up for Easter and all plans of going to our holiday home are off, I can see it is going to be a long and tedious battle to drag him away from his online games on a daily basis until his school re-opens.

It was his birthday during the week and I tried juggling the day as best I could between trying to give him a rather lame present under the restricted circumstances, finding a 2 minute break between calls to organise the ritual of singing happy birthday and blowing out candles on his cake, and attempting to blow up balloons with our CEO watching me with a rather horrified look on his face! Poor kid – I’ll have to make it up to him once we finally escape this pandemic situation.

A number of first world problems have emerged over the past few days that I’ve never had to consider previously:

• Who gets priority of working in the study?
• If your child is being schooled online, does that take wifi priority over your work conference calls?
• What’s the right look now for wfh – work top with jeans? Is extra make up needed as the camera is pretty unforgiving?
• How on earth am I going to cope with my highlighted hair regrowth?
• Who does the housework now the cleaner can’t come round? Yes folks you’ve guessed it…
• What time is now acceptable to pour yourself that large G&T (lunchtime??)?
• Am I still a bad mother if my son plays video games all day under the current circumstances?
• How do you ‘reintroduce’ employees on a phased basis if they’re returning from long term sick and the world has completely changed?
• …….

Roll on next week…..!